What’s the Question? A Timeline of Healing Without a Map

“I was searching for answers when I didn’t even know the question.”

That line found me in a journaling session today.

It hit something deep, something old.

A truth I hadn't named until now.

The Beginning of the Search

Years ago, when I hit rock bottom, I opened Google and typed, "How to be happy."

But that wasn't the right question.

It was just the only one I could think to ask at the time.

I didn't know what I was really looking for—only that something inside me had unraveled.

Stacking Healing on Top of Pain

So, I started chasing healing like it was something I could track.

Appointments, therapies, clean eating, supplements, aromatherapy—trying to change how I lived, hoping something would make me feel like myself again.

But here's the kicker: I never actually released the old.

I kept piling on "good" things—healthy things, positive things—thinking maybe if I added enough light, it would cover up the dark.

Maybe healing meant stacking more and more on top of what I didn't want to look at.

When Someone Finally Saw the Pain

I remember sitting in an iridology session when the practitioner looked into my eyes and saw my pain so clearly, it made her clutch her chest and begin to cry.

She said something about what she saw—eerily accurate, by the way.

And I remember begging her, "Please, don't look in that part of my eye again."

Because I already knew.

Even if I didn't have the words yet.

More Than Physical Healing

I knew I was out of balance—but I didn't know how to realign.

Looking back, my timeline of healing didn't unfold in a straight line.

It weaved through pain, searching, surrender, and small moments of remembering.

The truth is, we are not linear people.

Therefore, we can't expect our healing to unfold in a logical, straightforward progression.

We can't just say: "I'll eat better, I'll work out, I'll fix my body," and expect everything else to follow.

Healing is not a checklist.

We aren't just bodies.

We are mental, emotional, and spiritual beings.

You can't work on your physical body

while ignoring your mental self.

You can't calm your mind

while abandoning your emotional truth.

You can't seek peace

while ignoring your spirit.

It's all connected.

Always has been.

Starting with the Wrong Question

And healing doesn't happen in just one place.

Sometimes, the journey starts with the wrong question.

How do you begin to answer that?

Maybe healing begins, not when we find the answers, but when we stop needing them.

Because an answer implies a sense of satisfaction after we've asked the right question—and most of us haven't.

Not at first.

The Timeline of Healing May Reveal a Deeper Truth

If "how to be happy" is the right question, then maybe the truth lives deeper—not in happiness, but in remembering.

Remembering how to come home to yourself.

Remembering who you are beneath the pain.

Remembering how to become whole again.

Closing:

This post is the beginning of a series.

I’ll be exploring what it means to heal—beyond checklists, beyond labels, and beyond surface-level fixes.

If this spoke to you, stay close. The next question might be the one that changes everything.