Being unable to receive is reactionary behavior; an emotional response to stimuli in your environment. An experience that is negative or triggering tells the ego that it failed to protect you. When the ego knows it is not in control, it responds dramatically. Reactive energy shifts blame to the person, place, or thing you deem responsible, giving them power over you and allowing those external forces to determine your actions and the trajectory of your life. The reason it is so hard to receive from others is because of a limiting belief that has power over you.
I read an IG this morning that simply asked, “Which is harder to say? I'm Sorry, I need help, or I love you.”
Overwhelmingly, people, including myself, chose “I need help” as the hardest thing to say. Memories started flooding into my mind. I am quite prideful—I can acknowledge that I am working on that. I recall back when I was 14 years old and my youth group leader asked if we had a turkey for Thanksgiving… I said yes, but we did not have one. At the same age, my gym teacher put his arm around me, gave me his condolences, and asked me what I needed. He was genuine and he would have done anything in his power for me, if I asked for help. I said nothing because I honestly didn’t know how to even say what I needed.
Side note: My freshman year in high school, the year I turned 14, was the hardest time of my life. I had suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I could not ask for help. I didn’t know how to put into words what I was experiencing. If my words right now resonate with you, call or text 988, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, day or night, at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) in the US or 116 123 in the UK. You don’t have to have the words. Someone is waiting to help you, and you deserve this help. There is no shame in asking for help.
The problem is that being able to receive things such as help, compliments, love, apologies, or criticism come from a belief that limits your ability to receive. Even though your body knows that you need love, help, or to better yourself… fear creates limiting beliefs that prevent you from accepting it.
The limiting belief is that you don’t feel worthy.
You feel too flawed, undeserving, or unlovable. We might not trust people’s intentions or find it hard to believe they care enough about us to give or do something for us unless there is an equal (or greater) exchange. We think, “Why would someone do that for me or say those nice things?”
Your thinking mind may never be able to attach a reason to this belief, but here are some ideas for you to explore:
Defense against intimacy
Letting go of control
Fear of strings attached
The belief that receiving is selfish
Self-imposed pressure to reciprocate (being in someone’s debt)
If you can give [love, help, etc.] but cannot receive any back, it is because you feel invalidated. When you cannot let another person in or even see your true self because of emotional barriers, it is because you are not living your truth and you need to love and accept yourself fully in order to do that.
Your level of satisfaction with life correlates with your level of self-esteem and self-acceptance. Wanting to experience positive change without believing you are worthy of receiving it can make you feel helpless. Taking inspired action without self-love can make you feel defeated because, on a subconscious level, you do not believe you are worthy.
Answers you seek will come from untangling the energetic connections of past experiences, and this can be difficult. Moon work quiets the ego as you journey toward accepting yourself, achieving self-love, discovering and believing in your worth, and creating your best life that’s full of meaning and purpose. By turning down the volume of the ego mind, you can discover and learn all the uniqueness you bring to this world. When you embrace who you truly are, you have changed.
Creating lasting change does not involve just one thing; lasting change requires you to make a series of minor changes over time. It’s a cycle. Look up, meet the moon where you both are, and let it guide you to a life of self-love and self-acceptance so you may receive all that you are worthy of… and more!
Learn how to do moon work and create a routine that will help you thrive in my book, Wild Moon Healing.