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How to Use "Upset" to Create Positive Change in Your Life

Updated: Aug 17, 2022


Life is an idea and we all have our own notion of how it will perfectly play out. But, if something in the sequence of how we define life does not happen or does not go according to plan, that then creates an excuse to not move forward. Excuses ground us in a bad way generating feelings of stuck; you can’t seem to move in any direction.

You allow so much to disturb your peace. I am upset because…

  • My partner doesn’t listen to me.

  • I don’t have enough money or time.

  • People don’t understand me.

  • My neighbor is so rude.

  • I made a mistake.

  • Traffic.

The ego is the thinking, surface-level, conscious mind that uses external stimuli or information as an excuse to engage in life from a place of fear. The ego mind is smart, but emotional. The ego creates justification for your struggle. The path to get out of your own way is to get out of your head.


Energy flows where your attention goes and you attract what you think of most. If you constantly think about all that upsets you, that then is where your energy will go. This is why you are tired and feel stuck in life. The mindset of “I am upset because…” is a victim mentality. What is driving your life?

Victims are stuck in their situation because something other than themselves has anchored them in that reality. The way to counteract any excuses you come up with that derails your progress in life or robs you of joy is to return to a place of inspired action. Experience life.

Maybe what you need to experience to change your reality is to leave an unhealthy relationship, spend time alone, and learn more about what adds value to your days. We can elevate our thinking mind and increase our vibrational energy by letting our heart lead us.

We are all here to love; we need to give and receive it because the heart houses our soul.


A state of perpetual peace is not realistic and you are realistically not learning anything. When you become aware that you are upset because… Only then you can learn about what is robbing you of your personal energy and peace in that moment. When you give up the blame game and the need to make other people wrong, you regain your personal power. Your feelings are always valid; therefore, it it is acceptable to feel upset. However, being upset is the biggest teacher for learning your triggers which will inevitably trace back to a false and limiting belief, something you believe about yourself that is untrue such as, "I am unimportant."

Maybe you are your own trigger. Never letting yourself forget about that mistake you made creates guilt and shame. Those types of feelings are heavy burdens to carry. Mistakes are lessons to learn; learn the lesson and rid yourself of your burden.

When love and appreciation is in charge and drives you, the idea of how things should be will not limit you. Rather you are living authentically and the ego regains its proper place. This is the expression of who you are rather than the complaints of the way things should be.

You cannot control anything outside of yourself. Nothing in this physical world will give you purpose, that comes from within.


Blaming things outside of yourself (people, things, or situations) for upsetting you will keep you right where you are. The pursuit of happiness is wasting energy if you are looking anywhere outside of yourself for the joy you deserve. Your mess is in your message. Look inward when you are upset.

When we focus on blaming we only see the mess, the struggle, the barrier, or the dead-end. Choose love and hear your message. The lesson you are experiencing will reveal something about you such as:

  • An unfulfilled intention or goal

  • An unsuccessful communication

  • An unhealed wound from a traumatic experience

  • An unfulfilled expectation

When something is “un” [whatever], it takes action to change it. It takes your action, but does not require a reaction. You have the power to choose to act and love without becoming upset.

Shifting your perspective from “I am upset because” to “I am grateful for” transforms you into who you truly are—your authentic self. We are here to learn to love and appreciate. To be in a place of love is to be thankful, grateful, and aware of your blessings.



Being upset is throwing your energy away, you are not in control. If you are upset, you are triggered. Why? Allow your feelings to teach you something about you. Does something need to change or is there something you need to heal? Either way, action on your part is required to live a fulfilled life.

The two best ways to elevate your thinking mind is meditation and thankfulness. Slow down and let your body tell you what it needs and reframe your mind. Gratitude changes your attitude, elevates your energy, and enhances your personal power. No more excuses. Rephrase your “I am upset because” to “I am happy or grateful for” and your life will change exponentially.

Check out my free 7-day gratitude challenge and experience this energetic shift for yourself.

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