Trauma and love are so much more than emotional responses to external experiences—they are profound forces that shape our inner world.
The Connection Between Trauma and Love
Think about what you love for a moment. My guess is that you listed everything but yourself. Trauma creates a void, and without self-love, rebounding from its grip becomes incredibly difficult.
Love and trauma are intricately connected. When love manifests into attachment, it builds expectations. If that love ends, is interrupted, or goes unreciprocated, it can lead to immense pain. The bigger the love, the deeper the pain. Trauma wouldn’t hurt as much if love weren’t a part of the equation.
Trauma has a way of twisting love into blame or even hatred as we search for reasons to justify our suffering. But here’s the truth: Even when trauma hardens your heart, love can bring you back.
Life After Trauma
Trauma changes you—it changes everything. The person you were before no longer exists in the same way. However, healing is possible, and the key to moving through trauma is loving yourself unconditionally.
Rather than focusing on the pain of your trauma or its origins, choose to breathe new life into the person you are now. Trauma may have altered you, but you have the power to rebuild and shine again.
Start Where You Are
Begin right where you are—exactly at this moment.
Try this visualization: Close your eyes and see yourself. Don’t focus on the trauma, what others see, or what you think others see. Forget the masks—the party animal, the recluse, the people-pleaser. Just see YOU.
Where has your trauma put you?
Are you frozen in a glacier, stuck in quicksand, or trapped in a box?
Whatever your vision, it holds valuable insight into your emotions and current state. When you’re ready, jot down your thoughts in a journal. Then, close your eyes again and ask yourself, “What do I need?”
Do you need to:
Eat better?
Love yourself?
Move more?
Apologize?
Forgive yourself?
Hug yourself?
Create awareness of what you need and tell yourself, “I will commit to treating you better.”
The Role of Self-Care in Healing

Self-care for your mind, body, and soul is the air you need to revive yourself. Prioritize your wellness with these practices:
Mind: Practice gratitude, stay present, and engage in mindfulness.
Body: Nourish yourself with healthy food and move intentionally.
Soul: Spend time in nature, meditate, or try restorative yoga.
Repetition and practice are essential to transitioning from a traumatized self to a loved self. Be patient with yourself—it’s easy to slip back into old patterns of fight, flight, or freeze. When you notice these reactions, let that awareness prompt you to return to self-care.
Self-care is not indulgent—it is how you survive.
Survive and Thrive
Trauma often earns us titles: victim or survivor. But you are not defined by those labels. You are more than what has happened to you.
Don’t just survive—thrive. Find your magic, honor your worth, and embrace the fullness of who you are. Trauma is treatable and healable, but healing starts with doing what is best for you in every moment.
The Path to New Beginnings
You matter.
You are important.
You are worthy of healing.
If your emotions feel overwhelming, or if you experience suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the U.K., contact Samaritans at 116 123.
It’s time to create new beginnings and love yourself to the moon and back.
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