It is so important to be an advocate for your mental and physical health and to intuitively listen to your body. I’ve been on a health journey for just over six years now and suffer physical pain in my entire body. Every joint in my body hurts. Some days are better than others. Pain interrupts my sleep. It affects everything I do and prevents me from doing many things I enjoy. Last month I had my annual physical, blood work came back, and… everything looks great!
Then why do I hurt so badly?
I decided to see a naturopathic doctor. She ran more blood work. Some of it was routine (i.e. I’ve seen it before in my labs) but other tests I’d never seen or heard of before. Long story short, I have Lyme disease.
At a time when I should be celebrating the fact that I now have answers and can finally begin to heal my physical body, I instead am experiencing mixed emotions.
I have two distinct emotions right now. I finally feel validated, but I am also angry. Years of judgmental looks from doctors making me feel like I was just looking for pain medicine when I didn’t want a prescription at all, just answers. The countless doctor visits, specialist, tests, bloodwork, injections, procedures, and surgeries. Oh, and the comments:
You just have arthritis, which happens as we age
I don’t know what to tell you
I defer to another doctor
According to your blood work, you are a healthy person
Your tests don’t show anything
Doctors left me feeling as though all my pain was either in my head or the direct result of my emotional binge eating. The shame, guilt, and judgement I bestowed on myself over the years aided my emotional eating and depression. I discuss these hard topics in my upcoming book, Wild Moon Healing.
I am finally vindicated and free to start my physical healing journey, but anger is trying to take control. The best way to change the story is through Moon work.
Flip the Script
As I write this we are in the waning cycle of the moon. During this lunar cycle we need to let go, surrender, forgive, and love. I know the drill. I authored a book on it, but it is still hard to release this apparent anger I hold toward my medical team and the medical community at large.
It’s been a week since I received the results and I’ve been battling migraines this whole time. I know my anger is creating these headaches. This morning I realized I need to take control, let go of this feeling of anger that does not serve me, and change the story.
I need to go within and surrender my anger toward my medical team for not discovering the root cause of my pain, forgive myself for my blind trust in my medical team and not advocating for myself sooner, and I need to love myself as I am right now.
To properly use this waning moon energy, today I received acupuncture, journaled, and meditated. Now I’m flipping the script.
My New Story
I’ve been on a healing journey for six years. I am sober and haven’t smoked a cigarette in almost six years. I healed from emotional trauma created from the experiences of my youth and finally grieved my brother who’s been gone for over thirty years. I spoke up about my depression and gained many valuable insights into my emotional binge eating.
I have grown in immeasurable ways.
Physically, I experience chronic fatigue and acute pain through the entirety of my body. These symptoms are not indicative of a disease, this pain is my cure.
I had to slow down and go on this journey within. Although completely terrified of the vulnerability, I share my journey in my upcoming book, Wild Moon Healing. Physical pain was necessary for me to experience this healing. It was the cure to my emotional turmoil. This journey was necessary to allow me the time to share with you how you can go on this same journey to heal and awaken your inner truth.
I will now embrace a new chapter in my life, one of physical healing.
Be Your Own Advocate
Negativity creates a physiological stress-response. As with me, I was experiencing migraines and headaches due to my anger. There is a hidden narrative that lives within all of us. What is the truth and what is the lie? What is your disease and what is your cure? Advocate for yourself to figure this out.
How do you advocate in your best interest?
Slow down and enjoy the present moment.
Discover some core limiting beliefs by going on the journey of self-exploration.
Explore your fears while showing yourself compassion.
Invoke what is in your best interest by simply asking for it and believing it will come.
Flip the script and create a story that will elevate and inspire you.
Never surrender to fear or the story that this is just how life is.
Our bodies talk to us constantly and provide us with necessary information. The attributes that help us hear and participate in the conversation are slowness, stillness, and quiet. This is completely contrary to the way most people live their lives. You can radically show yourself respect and initiate change that will advocate for your best interest.
You decide when you need to elevate yourself, seek alternative health solutions, and how best to nourish your body. The choice is yours to be happier, more energetic, and healthier now in the midst of your current struggle.
Craft a new story that is true to your authentic self!!