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To Choose Love is To Choose Yourself

Updated: May 25, 2022

Love is Dynamic

Choosing love over fear does not only happen during times of crisis such as leaving an unhealthy relationship, or something scary like starting a new business or hiking the entire Appalachia Trail. You have the ability to choose love over fear in every small moment that you experience every day.


Deciding between the two is not a life or death situation. What is at stake is the survival of self, whether that be the person you are now or your future self. When people describe themselves they say things like, “I’m a mother… a bookkeeper… a mechanic… a go-getter… nobody.” While these answers help create an identity, they do not describe a person’s character.


When you do not know who you are or do not allow yourself the freedom to be authentic, it is hard to choose love. From this position, when you feel threatened you react from a place of fear. Reactions are typically ugly, emotional, and can generate regret.


Responding from a place of love happens when you know and accept yourself completely. Living in your own authenticity makes it is much harder to feel threatened by the actions or opinions of others.

choose love

Fear is Lethargic

Unconsciously choosing fear means fear is creating your reality or your current experience.


Examples of choosing fear (even if unintentional) is:


– Complaining about being lonely instead of putting yourself out there

– Binging on Netflix instead of doing something physically active

– Spending money at the casino instead of paying the mortgage

– Participating in gossip in lieu of engaging in a conversation that expands our consciousness or compassion

– Worrying about what might happen tomorrow


These activities contradict the way most people want to be known and remembered. But it is so easy to fall into fear traps.


When you feel emotionally attacked, blamed, or criticized, you experience a state of fear. If our ego, identity, or narrative you hold about yourself becomes threatened, you jump into survival mode causing a reaction. By living in a perpetual state of fear, you avoid conflict, crisis, or failure because you never do anything differently. Fear blames others and eliminates accountability and responsibility.


Choose Love

Love is accountable and energetic; therefore, requires action.


Love puts you back in the driver’s seat of your life where you able to create change. Fear unintentionally gives permission to someone or something else to create your life. The only person who can figure out what is best for you is you. Even in a relationship, you must be you first. You need to determine your needs, values, dreams, and ambitions, and then love yourself enough to do what is necessary to go after the life you want.


Your thoughts become your reality, so, in the words of Henry Ford, “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” Your ego uses fear to tell you that you cannot, but your heart uses love to tell you that anything is possible.

choose love

How do we Choose Love More Often in our Lives?

– Ditch resolutions and goals and strive for better self-care. When you take care of yourself, you naturally go after what is correct for you in life.

– Reflect and honor your past. Right now you are every age you’ve ever been as well as every decision and experience you have ever had. It is all a part of who you are.

– Discover your needs and how you want to feel. Is there a wellbeing category that requires attention? Once we identify what need requires our loving focus, identify what key will open a new door. The key will come from doing something new, stop doing something old, or letting go of something or someone in your life that is holding you back.

– Choose to love yourself no matter what. Intentionally choosing love means you are mindfully creating your new reality. You have the power to create a positive timeline and change the trajectory for your future lives. By loving and believing in yourself, you raise your energetic vibration so you can create change and experience personal growth.


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