To Choose Love is To Choose Yourself

Love is Dynamic

Choosing love over fear isn’t reserved for monumental moments like leaving an unhealthy relationship, starting a new business, or hiking the entire Appalachian Trail. In reality, you have the ability to choose love over fear in every small moment of your life, every single day.

Deciding between love and fear is not always a life-or-death situation, but what’s at stake is something far more significant—the survival of yourself, whether it's the person you are right now or the person you are becoming. Often, when people describe themselves, they say things like, “I’m a mother… a bookkeeper… a mechanic… a go-getter… nobody.” These labels help create an identity, but they don’t speak to the core of who you are or your character.

When you don’t truly know who you are—or when you don’t allow yourself to be your authentic self—it’s difficult to choose love. From this place of uncertainty, fear often takes control. Fear drives reactions that are typically emotional and ugly and often lead to regret.

Responding with Love: The Power of Authenticity

Choosing love happens when you know and accept yourself fully. Living authentically makes it far harder for the opinions or actions of others to threaten your sense of self. When you know who you are, you can respond from a place of love rather than react from a place of fear.

Fear is Lethargic

Choosing fear, even unconsciously, means fear is shaping your reality and experiences. Fear keeps you stuck in a state of inaction, preventing growth and positive change.

Here are some examples of how fear can subtly influence your life:

Complaining about being lonely instead of reaching out and connecting with others.
Binging on Netflix instead of engaging in physical activity that boosts your well-being.
Spending money at the casino instead of managing your finances and paying essential bills.
Engaging in gossip rather than participating in conversations that foster compassion and growth.
Worrying about the future instead of staying present and proactive in the moment.

These actions may not align with the person you want to be or the legacy you want to leave behind, but it’s easy to fall into fear traps.

When you feel emotionally attacked, blamed, or criticized, fear activates. Your ego and the story you tell about yourself feel threatened, and you react out of survival. This perpetual state of fear keeps you from experiencing life fully—it encourages the avoidance of conflict, crisis, and failure, keeping you stuck in a loop of unfulfilled potential. Fear makes it easy to blame others, removing the accountability and responsibility that drive real change.

Choose Love

Love, by contrast, is accountable and energetic. It requires action and intention. When you choose love, you place yourself back in the driver’s seat of your own life, where you can create the changes you desire.

Fear unintentionally hands over control to someone or something else. In any relationship—whether romantic, professional, or familial—you must prioritize being yourself first. Understand your needs, values, dreams, and ambitions. Then, love yourself enough to pursue the life you truly desire.

Your thoughts shape your reality. As Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.” The ego will use fear to tell you that you can’t. But your heart—driven by love—will remind you that anything is possible.

How Can We Choose Love More Often in Our Lives?

Ditch resolutions and focus on self-care: When you prioritize self-care, you naturally align with what’s best for you. Your life will flow in the direction that feels authentic and right.
Reflect on and honor your past: You are every age you’ve ever been and every decision you’ve ever made. Your past is a part of who you are, and honoring it allows you to move forward with wisdom and compassion.
Discover your needs and how you want to feel: Identify the area of your life that needs your attention and love. Whether it’s emotional, physical, spiritual, or relational, pinpoint the need that requires nurturing. Once you identify it, ask yourself: What’s the key to fulfilling this need? The answer may lie in doing something new, stopping something old, or letting go of something—or someone—that’s holding you back.
Choose to love yourself, no matter what: Intentional self-love means you are actively creating the life you want. By choosing love for yourself, you raise your energetic vibration, opening the door to personal growth and transformation. This shift allows you to create change, embrace your potential, and step into the life you deserve.