Updated: May 25, 2022
Trauma and love are so much more than emotional responses to an external experience. It’s something that occurs inside of us.
Think about what you love for a moment…
My guess is you listed everything but yourself just now. Trauma causes a void and without self-love you will have a hard time rebounding from it. Trauma and love (or special feelings) go hand-in-hand. When love manifests into an attachment (which builds expectations), which ends, is interrupted, or unreciprocated it causes great pain.
Trauma would not affect you if you did not have sentimental feelings or attachment. Trauma is so profound it can turn the greatest love into hatred because we need to blame, there has to be a reasoning to our pain.
The bigger the love, the greater the pain. Even if your pain turns to hatred and hardens your heart, love can bring you back. There is life after trauma but you must first leave the experience to rebuild your life. This is a mental process that involves your emotions. Even if you’ve blocked your trauma from your conscious memory, if you have not released it… it is still there. Thus the need to love yourself unconditionally to move through it.
Talking about trauma as a means of recovering can induce negative emotions. So, rather than focusing on your trauma or from where it stems, make the conscious decision to breathe new life into who you are now so you can shine again–choose to change your emotion.
Inherited or experienced trauma changes you. Therefore, everything changes. The person who lived before experiencing trauma no longer exist.
You can learn to know and love yourself now.
Where do you begin?
As always, begin right where you are.
Meet yourself exactly in this moment of time. Let’s try a visualization.
Close your eyes and see yourself. Don’t see your trauma, what everyone else sees, or what you think others see. We can try so hard to be something so that no one can see our pain, that party animal or that self-destructive recluse. Right now, really see YOU right where you are.
Has your trauma frozen you in a glacier, stuck you in quicksand, or perhaps you are in a box.
Where has trauma put you?
Whatever your vision is right now, it is providing you great insight into your situation and emotions. Open your eyes and jot notes in journal if you need to. Then close your eyes again and ask yourself what you need.
Do you need to…?
In this moment, just create awareness of what you need. Tell yourself, “I will commit to treating you better.”
Trauma and Self-care
Self-care of the body, mind, and soul is the very essence of air necessary to revive you. Some things you can do to prioritize your wellness is:
Mind: Practicing gratitude, being present, and engaging in mindfulness
Body: Eating well and moving
Soul: Spending time in nature, meditating, or relaxing yoga
It take practice and repetition to move from your traumatized self to loved self. Nonetheless, just know it is so easy to fall back into your old habitual patterns.
It may look different each time you retreat to old ways, but the response is similar. You fight, flight, or freeze. That is how you protect yourself. Create awareness so you notice yourself fighting, running away, or just standing there numb. Let that awareness be your que to go back to self-care.
Self-care is doing what is best for you—that is how you survive.
Survive and Thrive
Trauma earns us titles—victim or survivor, that’s what society calls it. But, that’s not who you are.
Don’t be a victim who survives by fighting or running. Find your magic, and thrive! Be you.
Trauma is treatable and healable. You can truly live again after experiencing trauma by doing what is best for you in every moment.
Unfortunately, people tend to run and hide from their pain. We eat or drink alcohol in excess, for example. Instead, go for a walk. You may cry the entire way, but don’t stop. Don’t give up.
If you experience intense emotions or have suicidal thoughts or tendencies, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline any time day or night 24/7 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or in the UK call Samaritans 116 123.
You are important.
You are worthy of healing.
You can love yourself to the moon and back.
It is time to make new beginnings. Drop me a note and let me know if you learned anything about yourself during the short visualization.